Just so you know there are no gerbils on this list. According to the medical journal “Rectal Foreign Bodies,” which we used to research this phenomenon, “gerbiling” is an urban legend. There are no reported cases of people with gerbils stuck in their ass. Yeah we’re kind of heartbroken about it. We guess we owe Richard Gere a huge apology. No need to fret however, there are plenty of things stranger than gerbils on 10 Most Bizarre Things Found In People’s Rectums.

10. A Frozen Pig’s Tail

Imagine opening your freezer door and saying to yourself, “Now what in here can I stick up my ass?” We’re just glad he didn’t choose the Hot Pockets.

9. A Soda Bottle

It’s a delicate matter when trying to decide which brand of soda you going to ram up your ass. There are so many questions you have to ask yourself. Am I a Coke man or a Pepsi man? Should I go with something more exotic like an Orange Fanta?

8. A Light Bulb

The irony is that light bulbs are generally associated with good ideas.

7. A Can Of Peaches

The really funny part about this one is that the nurse took a picture of the X-ray and posted it to her Facebook account. She ended up getting fired.

6. Two Bars Of Soap

Okay this guy must have been a rookie. Everyone knows you don’t have to go to the emergency room to get soap out of your ass. Just run the hose up their until the soap dissolves. Duh!

5. A WTF!???

We couldn’t find out exactly what this is. It kind of looks like a Roto-Rooter. Maybe it was a bad plumbing accident, or maybe it’s one of those alien anal probes we’re always hearing about.

4. An Artillery Shell

A soldier in WWII claimed to have a bad case of hemorrhoids. Desperate to tuck them back in he used the only item at his disposal: a live artillery shell! Greatest generation indeed.

3. A Can Of Shaving Cream

Let this be a lesson to everyone to be careful while manscaping. We all want a clean taint, but don’t go overboard.

2. A Curling Iron

Okay, you were trying to give your ass hair a perm and you slipped. That’s believable.

1. A Tennis Ball

This is number one simply because it’s an odd choice as far as balls go. Why not a pool ball or baseball; something that’s smooth. A tennis ball is furry. Why would a person stick something furry in their ass? That just doesn’t make sense to us.